Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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