And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
