Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You're like the curious george of whores
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
