i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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