K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
