yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
