you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
