I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
