The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
