Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
