4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wish I could teleport
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I cannot find my penis.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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