how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
