I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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