He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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