i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
