Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
