She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
