I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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