Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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