She's JV to your varsity
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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