omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
