I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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