Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
