just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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