I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
