i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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