Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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