The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
