Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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