I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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