That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
