Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
