Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
where are my eyebrows?
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