i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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