I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
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