Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
