I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
