Please, let me fuck your mom
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That accounts for only three of the penises
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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