so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
