I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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