I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
