it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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