You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
