My friends, they love my intelligence
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
