.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
