oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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