Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
