I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
