So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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