Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
