I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
