I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
