so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
