I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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