so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
