I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
