He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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